Blended by Grace: Finding Family in God’s Redemptive Love

Family. Just hearing the word can stir a swirl of emotions—joy, pain, hope, or disappointment. But what if I told you that your understanding of family, whether beautiful or broken, is only the beginning of a much larger story? A story that God is intricately weaving, where family is not just about shared bloodlines, but about the transformative, redemptive love that God offers. Let’s explore how Jesus redefines family by his grace and what that means for us, whether our earthly families bring comfort or heartache.

The Beauty and Pain of Family

There’s something captivating about a picture-perfect family. A family filled with love, laughter, unity, and grace can be deeply inspiring. For those blessed to have that, it’s a beautiful gift. But let’s be real—most families don’t look like that all the time. Many of us have experienced the sting of hurt, frustration, and even betrayal from those who were meant to be our safe haven. Family can be both a source of deep joy and great pain.

That’s why building a healthy family—whether it’s your biological family, a blended one, or even your church family—requires more than human effort. It takes the hand of God.

When I feel overwhelmed by the challenges of nurturing a loving and supportive family, God gently reminds me of his faithfulness in my own life, especially within my blended family.

My Blended Family: A Journey of Grace

When Jim and I married over 21 years ago, we brought together five children from our previous marriages—two from Jim, and three from me. A blended family might sound simple, but anyone who’s experienced one knows the unique challenges it brings. There were times when simply being in the same room was difficult. We each carried our own wounds and baggage, and it took years of prayer, intentional effort, and, most importantly, God’s grace to begin to find and keep unity. Through it all, Jesus is our “true north,” helping us find our way to each other.

Today, our family isn’t perfect, but God has done something truly beautiful. We affectionately call ourselves the “smoothie family” because we’re such a blend of different backgrounds—step, half, adopted. And even our grandchildren are part of blended families. But this blending came with a cost: we had to let go of our preconceived notions of what family should look like, smash some of our expectations, and surrender our dreams for what God had in store.

Despite the mess, God’s grace has brought beauty from our brokenness. What Jesus has shown me is that no family is beyond his reach. No matter how complicated, broken, or messy, God’s love can bring healing. Our family’s story is living proof!

The Family of God: Redefining What Family Means

The concept of family is God’s creation, and even though sin brings dysfunction to our relationships, God’s heart is to redeem and restore. Family is the language God uses to describe his relationship with us (see Deuteronomy 32:6, Isaiah 63:16, Matthew 6:9, Romans 8:15-16, John 1:12). One of my favorite verses is:

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” —2 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV)

Our earthly families, no matter how complex, point us to a greater reality—the family of God. In Mark 3, Jesus offers a revolutionary view of family, one that transcends blood relations and is rooted in doing God’s will. Through faith in Jesus, we are born again into an eternal family—a family that lasts forever in harmony. Our love for this spiritual family should surpass even our love for our earthly families.

Jesus was in a house with his disciples when a vast crowd gathered to see him. His family came to “take charge of him,” for they were concerned about his well-being. They sent someone to fetch Jesus, saying, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you” (Mark 3:32 NIV). Jesus responds:

“‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.’” —Mark 3:20-35, (NIV)

At first, Jesus’ response seems almost dismissive of his earthly family. But what Jesus is really doing is expanding the definition of family to include all who do the will of God. True family, Jesus tells us, isn’t about genetics—it’s about a shared commitment to following God’s heart.

Trusting God with Our Families

This story reminds me of how often our understanding of family falls short. Jesus invites us into a spiritual family that can bring the healing and wholeness our earthly families may lack. He’s calling us to trust him with our families (especially church family), no matter how broken or blended they are.

The Greek word for “will” in this passage is thelēma, which means “desire” and speaks to God’s deep desires and purposes for our lives. This spiritual family—rooted in pursuing God’s heart—is transformative.

When we embrace Jesus, we are adopted into his eternal family—a family that cannot be shaken. And as we grow closer to God, he begins to heal and restore our earthly families too. Jim and I have seen this firsthand, as God has brought redemption to our blended family in ways we never imagined possible.

No matter where you come from—whether your family brings you joy or pain—trust the love of Jesus to knit you together with your brothers and sisters in Christ. You may be amazed at how God’s grace can begin to work healing and transformation in your earthly family too.

Reflection:

Father, I pray for my brothers and sisters, for the glue that binds us together, which is your blood. Father, continue to lead us closer and closer to you, that we might be in your inner circle as your children. Draw us close and let us experience the beauty of a real church family and spiritual family this week in our lives. In Jesus’ name, amen.