Marriage Builders: Why God Made Marriage

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Marriage Builders: Why God Made Marriage

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.’” Mark 12:30-31

Marriage between a man and woman is good and was instituted by God even before the Fall.  It is how we are designed to live. Marriage is also a gift, where we can, in a mutually loving relationship, share our precious life experiences, and was created by God for our enjoyment and benefit. Marriage is also where two flawed, imperfect people who have been hurt by the sins of this world can prepare for the hope of the next world.

Marriage is where we can feel, know and practice real, effectual love, and where we learn to apply the love and forgiveness Christ gave us. In a God-honoring marriage, we are each a helpmate to the other while growing in maturity and raising good and healthy children who love God and life—all becoming a precious family that is the anchor of community and civilization.

What marriage is not designed to do (that we sometimes force it to do) is be a place for loneliness, worry, hurt and strife. We take what was to be good and turn it into a warzone. We use our marriage to hone our weapons of pride, arrogance, condescension, and contempt, or just withdraw, staying angry and bitter. We model these practices for our children and expect them to have better lives and marriages, when all we’ve really taught them is how not to do it.

The Heart of Marriage

God wants our marriages to be centers of His redemptive work, played out to in unity and security.  A marriage is two people coming together in a sinful world to form an intimate, communal community—a family. Family is the safe harbor where we are honest and help each other grow, leaving behind our self-centered nature and embracing another person. This is how we learn to love, grow in love, even fail in that love, then pick it up–continuing to communicate and commune with one another and with our Lord and Savior together.

God knows this will be difficult, but He knows it is also achievable and even pleasant.  He knows that we each think differently and are wired differently; in fact, many times we are in opposition. We grow up in different places with different experiences, and we come together with our bags of desires, expectations, burdens, fears, faults, hurts, and expectation for joy. We soon collide into each other’s faults, and yet, He is there; Christ can help us do love, family and marriage right, even while our pride stands in the way.

What God wants for our Marriage

Christ our Lord wants two people who do not always see everything the same way to come together to show each other the love of Christ. Marriage is the place for us to relinquish our pride and to forgive and flourish. We will be hurt and disappointed, stepped on and humiliated, yet we must persevere in our love. Love is not a mere feeling, if we just let our hearts lead us, we will fail. Our marriage will blow up without a commitment of will as well as heartfelt love.

Here are some questions to challenge, inspire and help equip you to be better in your commitment, love and marriage:

Read Mark 12:30-31; John 14-15

  1. Do you see your marriage as a gift, where you can live in a mutually loving relationship and share your precious life experiences?
  2.  How can you make your marriage a safe harbor?
  3.  What can you do to make your marriage and family a center of God’s redemptive work?  How would this improve your marriage?
For the entire Marriage Builders Series by Dr. Richard Krejcir click here.
About The Author
Richard Krejcir
Richard Krejcir
Hi there, I'm Dr. Krejcir, the Founder and Director of “Into Thy Word Ministries,” (www.intothyword.org) a missions and discipling ministry. I'm also the author of several books including, Into Thy Word, and A Field Guide to Healthy Relationships. I'm a pastor, teacher, husband and father, and a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California (M.Div.) and I have a Doctor of Philosophy in Practical Theology from London, England (Ph.D). Blessings to you!
11 Comments
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  • Gary Welch
    July 30, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    AMEN!!!! I love marriage!!! I’m for it and don’t have a girlfriend yet, but soon. smiling….

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  • Travis Johnston
    July 30, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    This is me an my wife all day we was so different when we meet she was so country but I was in rap saging jeans but God put us together an we are so much in love it’s crazy we been together for 14 year’s an married for six peps said it would not work because of the difference but look at us going strong I love this women so much an we servers of the lord every thing happens for a reson.. thank u lord for putting this women in my life!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Brenda Kelly
    July 30, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    married at 16, just celebrated our 39th Anniversary! Would do it all over again!!! My husband is my sweetheart, my best friend, my champion, someone who loves me unconditionally and with all his heart. An awesome gift that keeps on giving from my God and Saviour!!! Praise You Father!!!!!!!!!

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  • Seth Shewmaker
    July 30, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    Praise God Almighty Forever, God Bless all, Amen!

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  • Carol Seymour
    July 30, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    Brenda your testimony sounds just like mine. I was 16. Too young you know. And he was 26. – Way to old for me you know. We should wait until we were financially better off All the rules they set. LOL The only rule we needed was Love. Gods first then ours. We worked at everything together. I put him first, he put me first and we together put our kids first, then us. It was always beautiful. Very few problems at all and all were small because we worked together always. We were married 33 years when he passed away with cancer. And still are as far as I am concerned. I love him still and always will. when he was dying he only thought of me. And how it would all affect me. But he left me with 6 wonderful kids that love us both and are there for me always….~ … Excuse me but when it comes to my Floyd I can go on forever. ~ Keep your love strong for each other. I am happy for you. In this day and age it is rare to see real love. Sorry ! I didn’t mean to write a book, it just makes me happy to see you so happy and My memories just flow.

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  • Mercy Sabrah Enyonam Dzirasa
    July 31, 2012 at 3:31 am

    Marriage hasn’t worked for me, but there is no pride within me and i am forgiving; besides the Almighty is making me flourish outside the union nonetheless…I believe that marriage is not for everyone…some of us must be alone/celibate/doing works that will benefit the neglected and forgotten…!!!

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  • Linette Sherrod
    July 31, 2012 at 11:30 am

    YES, HE DOES~GLORY~

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  • Mitch Kraft
    July 31, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    What about marriage as defined in the Bible, Polygamy?

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  • Mitch Kraft
    July 31, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    Good bye Trochia…….50+ divorce rate? Traditional Marriage values? Ha!

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  • RichardKrejcir
    July 31, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    Yes, divorce is a tough one. I come from a divorce as a child, I know the heinous nature and how it destroys for many generations. I also know how a good marriage is, and how it builds a family, a community and a church that glorifies our Lord. Same with cars, I barley lived through a car crash once; yet, I need a car to take me to work and pastoral visits. Should I always stay away from cars, perhaps take a bus? Because they are dangerous? I did for a while, did not work so well. If we mind our cars and focus better, we can avoid most accidents. If we mind our relationship with Christ; we can build our other relationships better too.
    And polygamy was a tool in a culture and time that needed it. It was not God’s purpose for man and women to be in such relationships. But, the times and infancy of humanity dictated it for that time, so He allowed it and we can read Genesis and see how that worked, not so well… Read the Song of Songs for that answer… Be blessed! Phil 1:6 
     

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  • Carl J. Marshall
    August 1, 2012 at 1:54 am

    Don’t blame 50% divorce rate on traditional Marriage values! It is pride and selfishness that causes divorce! MARRIAGE IS THE VALUE THAT KEEPS US HOLY BEFORE GOD!!!! For a Marriage to work we have to be willing to work out the problems that cause the conflict. No one ever said it would be easy, it takes effort but, two people committed to God and each other will always be stronger when they reach a resolution! God’s love for us is unconditional and our commitment to our Marriage partner should be a reflection of that love!

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